by D.W. Lundberg

Saturday, December 24, 2011


Well, it's Christmas time again, folks! And by way of tradition (as well as an excuse for being lazy), I thought I'd offer up another yuletide quiz challenge in the spirit of the season. You know, something to mull over while you're kicking back, enjoying your egg nog, hangin' with the family, waiting for the big guy and his reindeer to make their annual stop-over...

Speaking of the Big Guy... how well do you know your Santa Claus movies? The Jolly One's been around for about as long as anyone can remember, yet rarely, if ever, does he take center stage of his own story. Below are a handful of Santa-centric titles and a snippet of dialogue from each, spoken by ol' Kris Kringle himself (or, conversely, an imposter thereof). Can you match them together, for goodness sake? Don't be a Grinch now...


1) "All right. Dooley, make up a list of who is
   naughty and nice. And be careful. I'll be
   checking it twice."

2) "Look, I am lactose intolerant! And I'm just
   about this close to taking all those presents
   back up the chimney."

3) "Oh, Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of
   mind... and that's what's been changing. That's
   why I'm glad I'm here, maybe I can do something
   about it."

4) "I never realized. You hate me."
   "I don't hate you, Nick. I just wish you'd never
   been born."

5) "Release me now or you'll have to face the dire
   consequences / The children are expecting me, so
   please come to your senses!"

6) "Max! Help me! I'm FEELING!"

7) "I've been to New York thousands of times."
   "Really? What's it like?"
   "Well, there are some things you should know.
   First off, you see gum on the street, leave it
   there. It isn't free candy."
   "Second, there are, like, thirty Ray's Pizzas.

   They all claim to be the original. But the real
   one's on 11th."

8) "This bell is a wonderful symbol of the spirit
   of Christmas - as am I. Just remember, the true
   spirit of Christmas lies in your heart."

9) "Well, when Voldar 'accidentally' left us in the
   airlock and then came up here and 'accidentally'
   threw the door switch, we knew we had to get out
   of there in a hurry or that would be the end of

10) "Hey, can I get another drink down here?"

A. Bad Santa (2003)

B. Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

C. Elf (2003)

D. Fred Claus (2007)

E. Miracle On 34th Street (1947)

F. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

G. The Polar Express (2004)

H. The Santa Clause (1994)

I. Santa Claus: The Movie (1985)

J. Santa Claus Vs. The Martians (1964)


1) I               6) B

2) H               7) C

3) E               8) G

4) D               9) J

5) F               10) A

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